It was been a whirlwind of emotions, ups, and downs since we lost Faith. Very hard to believe that it has almost been two months. First it felt as if time was standing still, and then all of a sudden Thanksgiving is past, and Christmas is just around the corner.
I have found that my grief has been hard for me to process. This year at school my situation with the pilot program was totally stressing me out. We had passed the 1st trimester worries and scare in Baltimore, MD this summer.....I thought we were in the clear. So....on that day when we found that our baby had no heart beat...our world turned upside down.
Chaos. This has become my reality. Teaching became not a job, but a distraction with no direction. I am lost in my world. It feels like an emotional black hole.
Enter the advent season. A season of waiting and the anticipation of the birth of Christ, feels very empty for me right now. Don't get me wrong, my faith has not left me, but Christmas is going to be very different for me this year.
Right now H and I don't know what we want for Christmas.....
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